What Will Our Children Remember When They're Grown?
My son is 6 years old, closing in very quickly on 7. The thought keeps popping into my head about fun stuff we do and precious moments we share...will he remember this when he is my age? It made me have some deep thoughts about my own childhood and what really makes memories stick. And what will really matter in the long term?
I decided to make a list of things that I feel will make the biggest impact on our kids, both now and all the way through their adulthood. Ready? Let's begin!
Listen to your child(ren)
I know, it sounds so basic and simple right. But this has a huge impact! If your children feel they are listened to, and can come to you with anything, that is a special thing they are unlikely to forget. Just earlier today, my son was sharing with me things that happened in school today. I listened to the full story, intensely. And I engaged in conversation with him. He won't remember the exact conversation perhaps, but he won't forget that I always gave him my time. I was there, willing and able to listen to what he has to say. Everyone is guilty of saying, "hold on hun, I'm busy right now...", but try to limit those times as much as possible. What could really be more important than your children? Tell the other thing to wait when possible.
Hugs & Affection
This is an easy one. Most mothers I know are all over their kids with hugs and kisses. But other mom's (and dad's) might not be so physically affectionate. Everyone is different, right? But try. Give them hugs, show them love. They will never forget the love you show them! Ever! If being affectionate doesn't come easy to you, just one hug a day will make your child feel safe, secure and protected. Not to mention, of course, loved! Speaking of love, say "I love you" too! I can't send my son off to school, or off to see his dad without telling him I love him. Perhaps this is morbid on my end, but I always think what if something were to happen to me...or him. I want the last thing said to be "I love you".
Family Traditions
This does not have to be some big major event. It does not need to be based only around some holiday event. We have some of the most simple and basic traditions. They don't have to be fancy or complicated. We have a family game night as well as a family bible study night. Yeah, I think we all have more fun with the game night, but we try to make the bible study fun too! We do this on a weekly basis, so they can be a frequent event.
Eat Dinner as a Family
Yes, family dinners...at a table! I know some families have totally gotten away from this. It's grab a plate and run off to separate ends of the house, or sit mindlessly in front of the television. Try to have a family dinner, at the table, with the TV off, at least once a week. More if possible! Talk to your family! Ask how everyone's day was and if there is anything to share. This really helps the family unit remain close and connected.
Play!!!
Playtime with your child is so important. Sometimes as busy adults, we forget the power of play. Get down on the floor and build with those blocks! Make something with those Legos! Remember that game, Hide and Seek? Oh my gosh, huge hit at my house! It doesn't matter that we always hide in the same 5 places each time we play...my son never gets bored with it. And as long as he is having fun, and I see that smile on his face...it is fabulous to me!
These are great ways to be closer to our kids. I do try to listen to them, but I could probably be more intentional about stopping my chores and looking them in the eye since they probably don't realize that I can hear them and cook at the same time!
ReplyDeleteYes, eye contact is important. We're busy moms...we just gotta do the best we can :) Thanks for commenting!
DeleteThis post made me feel so good this morning! These are such wonderful tips and advice. My daughter is 10 months old, but already we make sure to eat dinner at the table as a family. We pray together first, put phones away, and talk. I look forward to starting more traditions, especially around the holidays.
ReplyDelete...sounds like a great start to a good childhood for your little one :)
DeleteOh man. My earliest memories are when I was around 2. They aren't good ones, but I remember them. One of my favorite Christmas memories was my mom driving us around to see lights, and we were poor so we didn't have cookie cutters or a rolling pin and one year we really wanted to make cookies. We used a drinking glass to roll and cut our cookies. My mom was always really resourceful to make things better for us.
ReplyDeleteAww, what a great example of making memories! Wow, 2 years old for your first memory? I think mine is from like 4 or 5 lol. Mine isn't a good one either, gosh, why is that?!? It's all about what makes an impression on little brains I guess!
DeleteI love so much of this. It is the simple things like good dinner conversation. Like you said when you sit and listen to what they are saying. All of these things are what really matter to them.
ReplyDeleteThank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this post!
DeleteI love and agree with all of this! XOXO
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you enjoyed it and thank you for visiting and commenting!
DeleteI love this! Too many times, I'm in a restaurant and I see a mom and a dad talking together and their children are being completely ignored, playing with their iPads or other electronic gadget. I remember going out to dinner with my parents growing up and we actually had conversations! Too much distance is between parents and their children these days!
ReplyDeleteExactly! ....turn around and they're grown up! Savor the moments while they're young!
DeleteThese are so important! Great post! I hope my children have lots of childhood memories to share with their kids someday!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Glad you enjoyed it! Yes, I hope mine does too! So far he has an amazing memory so I hope he does hold on to many of them because we really do have a lot of good times together! And when I'm 80, I am going to need someone to remind me! ;)
DeleteThese are important things to instill memories. Presence is more important than anything
ReplyDeleteright on! well put!
DeleteYes to all! I need to get better about the playing. I always am trying to do so much at once, that I need to stop and just play. We've also been doing family dinners a lot more frequently, so I'm hoping to keep that up.
ReplyDeleteThese are all fantastic and my priorities as well! My top priority is to teach my son about our faith! There is no greater gift to give a child :)
ReplyDeleteI remember eating at the dining room table for every meal, except Sunday nights. That's when dad would make pizza and we would all get to sit in the living room, eating the pizza from paper plates watching the Wonderful World of Disney. We weren't allowed to have the TV on during other meals, so this really stands out as a wonderful memory for me.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a post. Surely helps a mother like me reflect on behavior to kids. I want to be remembered as a good mom, the one who listens, cares and teaches good values too.
ReplyDeleteYES! Although as my boys are 10,9 the playtime gets trickier. We still read and play board games but I just cant get into minecraft and Pokemon. I think they know when I am faking it!
ReplyDeleteMine are 16 & 18. We still have Friday night movie night, with pizza and videos, and family games night. I think the older they get the more they enjoy having these traditions. Mid-teens they weren't as interested.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking from the child point of view... I'm the age my mother was when she had me now and I have some precious memories. I remember playing volleyball and basketball in the backyard. I remember having uno game nights and crawling into my moms bed and her playing with my hair on Saturday mornings. I also remember the lessons she taught me about morals and everything. One thing that I'll always remember is we were at a drive-thru and someone gave her too much change she turned around and went back into the line to give him the difference.
ReplyDeleteSounds like your kids will be fine
I love that you emphasized play time. I know our daughter remembers words so much better when we teach her while we're playing with blocks or legos. The thing that I remember most vividly from my childhood is always having dinners as a family. I remember laughing, and even this one time that we had a "viking" dinner- aka there was no utensils since we were moving. Its a great memory. I hope tomake many like that with our little family!
ReplyDeleteI love this, and what a great reminder of creating a beautiful life for our little ones, filled with moments that they will cherish for all time.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a beautiful reminder. In the crazy busy days of being a mom sometimes we forget the impact we are making on our little ones.
ReplyDeleteFamily traditions are huge. As I have gotten older I remember more of our traditions than anything
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